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This process is counterproductive; doing acts of kindness should not result in resentment.
The reason why we light candles a few minutes early is in order to avoid any possibility of starting Shabbat late. The earliest time to start Shabbat is an hour-and-a-quarter before sunset. ) Keep in mind that this is not exactly an "hour-and-a-quarter" on your clock. ) Shabbat starts with candle-lighting, which is traditionally 18 minutes before sunset. It is, however, permitted to "start Shabbat early." This is simply done by lighting the candles, or through a verbal acceptance of Shabbat.A benevolent attitude will translate itself into benevolent deeds.This "intangible" will be felt by other people, even when we are unable to do anything for them.
has a fantastic online chart that tells you the exact candle-lighting time for your local city. Rabbeinu Yona took this tragedy as a sign of heavenly rebuke against him; as a way to repair the damage, he undertook to write his famous work Shaarei Teshuva (Gates of Repentance), a Jewish system of introspection and self-improvement. Therefore you say to yourself, "I am becoming more and more serene each and every day." Or even, "I am becoming more and more serene with each step that I take," when you are walking. Some people are "people pleasers." They do things for others to earn their favor and affection.
Utilize the power of autosuggestion for increasing your level of serenity. You are not necessarily making a statement of present fact. While it is certainly commendable to do things for others, "buying" their affection should not be the motivation.