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25-Nov-2015 11:07

“It won’t just be speed metal, to clarify,” Hill told me.“It’ll be many different types of metal, all awesome metal– I won’t play any shitty metal. I don’t wanna knock any bands, but there won’t be any Five Finger Death Punch.” If you’ve grown weary of constant Tindering (which, let’s be real, can result in too many anonymous bones and not enough long walks on the beach), Speed Metal Dating will offer all of Tinder’s brevity (e’ll just let people have a few minutes to get to know each other,” Hill explained) while also giving you the radical opportunity to speak with someone face-to-face before signing yourself up for the mess of agreeing to go on an actual date with them.“It might just be crazy enough to work,” mused Dave Hill, the comedian and author who’s now embarking on his second venture in “alt” romantic encounters.

Prepare yourself for a stampede of lustrous locks, tattoos, and cut-off band t-shirts– it’s gonna be a long night of unadulterated babe.

Oh, and, “Darkthrone is gonna play at the end,” Dave said. the city’s metal-ist metal bar, where Hill (also a metal fan) will preside over the rotations.