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12-Jan-2015 06:02

This is a recovery and reboot strategy for people who know their breakup is meant to be, no matter how tough it feels, no matter whom it came from:(Too late for that? If life is kind to you and you so happen to have a holiday weekend coming up, take advantage of that little extra time and space you can get. Start a conversation: Hopefully you didn't have a “score counting” kind of relationship (the kind that calculates who's hurting whom more, etc.) so you are able to do the mature thing and have a conversation.

In case it's not obvious, never start with “We need to break up,” or blurt out, “Are you going to break up with me? Not to sound all therapist-esque, but it's much better to use language that involves open-ended questions.

I mean it; before you check your phone, call your friends or even get coffee (unless you're planning to write at a coffee shop, which I don't recommend.)If it's too late for that and you've already broken up a while ago, go ahead and do it anyway, but ASAP! Anything that crosses your mind, and these things: how the breakup went, the things you loved about him or her, the reasons you broke up and how each made you feel.

”Though you can't imagine a tomorrow without this person, it's time to make that call, and someone needs to say, “I think we should break up.”7.

Let yourself fall apart, together: You're still sitting next to each other, so take advantage of it. But here comes the good part: The part where you get you back: recovery and reboot.

A frustration you've been sensing may be part of a bigger issue in the relationship, or maybe there is something about which he or she might be dissatisfied and you can let him or her know he or she is not alone in that feeling.4.

Let the other person talk: Everyone is different, but whenever possible, let the other person talk.

Criticism happens and it's okay, but it's always better to frame it as missing a positive, rather than suffering from a negative. Come to a clear conclusion: This is generally the most painful part, but it is crucial.

So, don't say, “that sucked” but rather, “this is happening and I want X.”Obviously, this is not easy in a breakup conversation where everyone is bound to say, “this and that annoys me.”Still, avoid criticizing him or her as a person and focus on his or her actions and how he or she made you feel. After this conversation, it's likely you will come to a classic crossroad question: “What now?



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