The deck is stacked against those looking to be with one person for the rest of their lives, both from a biological and an evolutionary perspective.Plus, well, there’s the simple fact that so many people fail at it.If you’re feeling hopeless about your prospects for monogamy, it’s reassuring to remember that there are plenty of people in healthy and happy relationships that aren’t monogamous.The very concept of polyamory — engaging in open relationships in which a person can be involved with more than one partner — can seem terrifying to the lifelong monogamist (which most of us are).Here are takeaways from three polyamorous couples that are valuable for any relationship, open or no. You need to lay down the law on how far you can take a new relationship, how much you tell your primary partner, whether or not you can you spend nights away from the home and whether or not having a date with someone else excludes you from doing the laundry.
Maintaining monogamy with a single partner can be important, but it can also be very tricky (particularly when your husband is one of the most famous movie stars on the planet).Jada Pinkett Smith, longtime wife of Will Smith, dropped a bomb this week, when she said in an interview with Huffpost Live that she and her megastar husband have an open marriage.Or rather, what she actually said was this: I’ve always told Will, “You can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay.” Because at the end of the day, Will is his own man. He has to decide who he wants to be, and that’s not for me to do for him. Suffice it to say, her openness about her husband potentially sleeping with any number of women is refreshing, and unusual.Polyamory comes with a lot of baggage, but then, so does monogamy.
That’s not to say I’m giving up monogamy anytime soon.
But there are lessons to be learned about long-term fidelity and communication from couples who decide to bring in partners outside the relationship.