We went to our first couples therapy session together. He’s afraid of his commitment issues and doesn’t want to hurt me since he respects me. I learned early on that money does not make me happy. In therapy we talked about how I am extremely picky about who I date. I’ve wondered where the feelings actually come from, so I did some reading about it tonight. Are we so desperate for companionship that we’ll compromise our happiness?
She asked us straight away if Tim and I were attracted to each other. He almost had a panic attack when I sent him a list of date ideas for the next week! Love is not a matter of the heart, it’s all in our brain. I think it was a bit soon for this, but our therapist Jocelyn wanted to have a consultation first. Jocelyn hit us with a TON of questions that I’m not sure either of us were prepared to talk about so quickly with her: 1.
I wasn’t being critical, nor do I think it’s a big deal.
However, this couples thing doesn’t feel natural or easy. Jessie didn’t like that I talked about how we approach money differently.
But I do save money, while I think she lives off her salary more. I get uncomfortable talking about what could happen in the next 40 days.This is something we’ve never discussed, although we have been flirtatious with each other in the past. Chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine are released when in love. After some awkward glances, we both admitted that we do find each other attractive. The chemicals increases energy, increases focus, and helps make us feel fucking awesome all the time. I don’t place value on the size of someone’s bank account or material possessions. I was wondering the whole time during therapy, “Wait, why are we doing this?! I was thinking about some of my buddies who are in a relationship that doesn’t completely stimulate them.
I know I don’t have as much savings as he does, but I’ve always supported myself financially, and I don’t mind spending on great experiences. How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? Jessie is currently in therapy, so it’s all good with her too.