Dating vs hanging out dallin h oaks

04-Aug-2015 12:28

Although different people in different circumstances require different counsel, I have found three key principles which, if applied, will help LDS singles to date well and thrive on their own in the meantime: without her.

I had it all planned out: we’d date through school, I’d serve a mission, she’d be waiting for me when I got home, and voila! This fantasy, combined with my excitable personality and frequent exposure to the doctrine of eternal marriage, practically ensured that I would inadvertently frighten away potential marriage partners by trying too hard.I graduated from BYU without a wife, and believe me it was not for lack of trying. A couple of years later I was wrapping up graduate school at Auburn and was well past “menace-to-society” age when I finally met my sweetheart.It had been nearly a decade since the last of my siblings had gotten married.I’ve experienced a lot, but what the advice that follows is not just from my own life.

Combined with my career as a therapist, the monthly singles’ classes that I teach in Saint George, and firesides I’ve been asked to speak at, I’ve interacted with thousands of single adults. Their stories about the difficulties of being single in a family-focused faith have been eye-opening, to say the least.

This is, of course, a self-defeating interpretation of the doctrine that “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis ) and “neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man in the Lord” (1 Corinthians ). I can certainly attest to the truthfulness of this doctrine.