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We’ve asked a panel of local experts to share their top tips for finding love after the age of 40. Hold that gaze just a split second too long and you may be surprised by the positive responses you’ll receive. Don’t be afraid to ask for professional assistance. Check online calendars such as Events in Your Area or Atlanta Buzz for local options. Many have met as a result of online sites such as Plenty of Fish, e Harmony, and Perfect Match. ) It’s normal to have baggage from past relationships or feel drained by the dating process, but remember not to unload heavy emotional issues or hurt feelings about your ex on early dates. Before you consider looking for love far away, consider that people in your community may have connections for you that you haven’t thought about. If most of your Saturday nights are spent hanging out with your friend, his or her spouse and two children, even if you adore them, it may be time to pick up new single women and men for friendship. Ask yourself: what are your top five deal breakers? You shouldn’t know if you want to marry someone after the first five minutes (contrary to popular belief and speed networking events! The only question you need to ask yourself on an early date is if you’re having fun and want to learn more about the other person or not. ), you may be anxious about getting back into the dating game. Look at this journey to love as an adventure, not a difficult task that may never end. Think of all of the relationships that have not worked out in the past and capture—on paper—all of the qualities that you are certain that you don’t want in your Dream Man or Woman. For more information or tips from the featured love experts and relationship coaches, visit them online: Uli Eitel, Sterling Introductions: Ingram, Atlanta’s Upscale Single: La Cota, It’s Just Lunch: Salisbury, Feel the Love International LLC: Uli Eitel, finding people to date at the age of 44 was no problem at all.
Their words of wisdom are designed to help you find the kind of relationship that meets your individual wishes and needs at this exciting point in your life. When you are grateful, you feel good about yourself and you are in the right frame of mind to attract love into your life. Define the values and qualities that you need to have in a life partner. We are open to reaching out for professional assistance in all areas of our lives—we hire tax consultants, investment professionals or personal trainers, yet when it comes to our love lives, we mistakenly believe that we can find our life partner by chance. The Fed EX person will not deliver your significant other to your door. Approach others with a smile and your business card. Networking events are great places to make connections. Submit an interesting profile with a current picture and let the communication begin! You may want to base this list on qualities people possessed who were difficult for you to handle in past relationships. You’re fabulous, no doubt, but there are probably things you did—or didn’t do—in your last relationship or on dates that you can learn from. Passion is one of the sexiest qualities you can possess. So many daters focus on their flaws and why someone they like would never be interested in them. Remember that the act of love requires taking risks and being open—with your mind and in your heart. Start getting excited about all the new people you will meet. If you focus on fear, you become more fearful; if you focus on doubt, more doubtful. Now that you are focused on what you want—love—start acting on that emotion. Friend love and family love are both very powerful emotions. Steer clear of any conversations about how terrible it is to be dating at 40, or how there are “no good men or women out there.” Remember to keep your focus on what you want and also remember that you only need one. Creating a Dream Partner List is possibly the most important thing you can do when you are looking for love. Grab your journal and a glass of wine, put on some Barry White or whatever does it for you and then go to work on capturing all of the qualities that you want and desire in your partner. The truth is that your list is just an exercise to help you be clearer about what it is you want to attract and what you will be looking for in a mate. It was finding the right people—people who shared her life goals—that was the issue.
Arlene Ingram, executive director and owner of Atlanta’s Upscale Singles, an Atlanta-basedservice that offers singles aged 45 to 60 a positive, upscale, relaxed social environment that provides opportunities for networking, friendships, dating and relationships. The value you place on yourself is measured and returned by others. Anyone above 10 years old has encountered disappointments and hurts in the area of relationships. Gentlemen, an invitation to dance is usually welcomed and provides just enough time for introductions. There is sure to be love with mixed doubles on the courts. Do whatever you need to do to keep this experience fun, light and exciting. After extensive research, she found a company that offers upscale services for single, commitment-minded adults who are seeking long-term relationships.
If you do not love yourself, how can you expect others to love you? Hence, past experiences and issues may need resolution before love becomes a possibility. “We started with an in-depth consultation, where I provided information about my family, my profession and my background,” she says, adding that she also was asked to identify the qualities she looked for in a potential spouse. “I wanted to meet someone commitment-minded, easygoing, fun and solid,” she notes.
From professional matchmakers to experienced relationship coaches, we’ve gathered a group of love aficionados who understand what it takes for mature adults to identify what they want and how to achieve it. Acknowledging what you have lays the foundation for bringing great things, events and people into your life. Hiring a professional matchmaker will greatly enhance your chances of meeting the person who’s right for you. These types of groups offer diverse activities monthly and provide an instant social network. Volunteer your time and talents to a charitable organization. Rather than sipping coffee alone, go to the nearest Starbucks or coffee spot. (You won’t have different results if you keep dating the same type! So often we blame others and don’t take time to reflect on how we showed up. If you haven’t done something in a while that brings you pleasure, make a commitment to try it again and you will have a certain je nais se quoi that will make you irresistible in dating. If self-doubt creeps up, replace the negative thought with something you absolutely love about yourself. If you can’t think of anything, enroll good friends to help. Get excited about how much you will learn about yourself during this process. But if you focus on love and how much you already have in your life, you will find yourself more grateful, more satisfied and more loving. Start concentrating on the relationships that you already have in your life. Instead, remind yourself of your brilliance and beauty. With billions of people on the planet, I promise you there is at least one good one left. “I was past 40, I had been married for a long time and I found myself back on the dating scene,” she recalls. I wanted to find the right person—not someone just to date and have fun with on a Saturday night.” A private and discreet person, Uli couldn’t imagine herself using today’s popular online dating sites to try and find a mate.
A reputable matchmaking service will only work with qualified individuals and will ensure a comfortable and respectful experience. Self-appreciation is the first essential step to accepting or giving love. Ladies, men congregate on the course for business and pleasure. Smiling makes you approachable, enhances your appearance and attracts others. Helping others feels good and can be an opportunity to meet others with common values. Once you look at your self-defeating pattern, you are less likely to repeat it. Pretend that you are a dating scientist and you are cataloging all of your interesting dating experiences. This will also help you to let go of any feelings of lack or neediness. Let these people know how much you appreciate them. Make a list of all the things that are extraordinary about you. Attraction doesn’t have much to do with age or even physical appearance but has everything to do with self-confidence—the way you carry yourself and the belief that you carry about YOU. So she began to consider professional matchmaking, which she felt would provide her with a more personal approach as she embarked on her search for love.
You may be on the lookout right now, using such successful online dating sites as or e Harmony, through which thousands upon thousands of people have found love. Don’t let yourself be influenced by negative thoughts about your age. Love can and will happen at any age, if you are open and receptive. How joyful and happy we feel is reflected in our appearance and energy level, and it is directly connected to our personal relationships. One of the great gifts I gave myself when I was single was a Caribbean Cruise. Besides pushing your limits and challenging the status quo, trying new things also presents great opportunities to meet people. Be realistic about the type of partner you see yourself with. Being over 40 is the best age to finally know what’s important in life and relationships. Schedule an evening, invite some friends over and go through magazines, finding pictures that represent the life that you want and the partner that you want. As you are out in the dating world, experiencing many different people and dating experiences, take the time to open up your journal and capture the things you like and dislike from each person you encounter.
Or, you could be out on the singles scene in Atlanta, making connections as you visit the city’s numerous hot spots. I had the time of my life and actually met a few eligible gentlemen on board. If you meet someone who has the core values and character traits that are important to you, but he may be a bit shorter than your ideal, give it a chance. We can now learn from past mistakes and get it right. Men love women who are easy-going, fun and flirtatious. Sunset cruises, a couple on a beach, a loving family—whatever it is that you desire. Add to that Dream Partner List and the Partner From Hell List.
However, if you’re like the many single 40-somethings out there, you realize that you’re in the prime of your life, and enjoying yourself is the name of the game.In fact, with a myriad of life lessons already under your belt, now is probably the best time to find someone special—someone who is both a loyal companion and a true soul mate. Often, we are our worst enemies when it comes to having a healthy self-image and a positive vision for our life. A healthy lifestyle and a positive mindset are a prerequisite for relationship success. Many singles put their lives on hold until they meet “the one.” Don’t wait to take that special trip or try out a new restaurant. ” If you always wanted to take that mountain climbing class, do it. If your ideal man is George Clooney without the commitment issues, it is time to revise your list. It is easier for your mind to “create pictures” of how you want your love life unfold.