Dating emotionally abusive man


10-May-2016 15:48

Ten years after experiencing the hardest breakup up of her life, *Ani, a writer, speaker and domestic violence advocate, sat facing the man who used to build her up and destroy her all at the same time.They reconnected four months prior when she had sent out a text via group messaging app Whatsapp wishing her friends with Oct. Though he had hurt her all those years ago, she included him in the group chat. A short time later, Ani changed her avatar and received a second text from him: "Nice pic." Soon, the two were texting back and forth when he asked her if it would be weird if he still sometimes thought about her. Their conversations continued on and off until months later, when Ani found herself willingly sitting at a table across from the man who hurt her all those years ago.

But apparently not his gravitational pull or her need to know why. I was just very curious," Ani says of the encounter."I didn't have expectations, except maybe a hope of getting a better understanding."Most people wouldn't comprehend that seemingly desperate and pathetic hope, especially when it's to understand someone who has hurt another human being so badly.A study titled "Psychological Abuse: Implications for Adjustment and Commitment to Leave Violent Partners" found that the more PTSD symptoms a psychologically abused woman exhibits, the less resolve she'll have to leave, or in this case, get over her partner.Symptoms such as anxiety and depression, as seen in Ani's case, can occur.

But Rachel Sussman, a New York City-based relationship expert, says that more covert symptoms of trauma can also limit an emotionally abused woman's ability to lead a mentally and emotionally stable life."You might misread signs in relationships and not realize if they're normal or not.

If your emotionally abusive ex got mad at you every time you talked to a guy, you might feel like you're doing something wrong, even after the breakup," Sussman explains. Even though you don't want to get back together, you can't stop thinking about him."*Jenna, 35, and *Lilah, 22, both exhibited various versions of these symptoms following their emotionally abusive relationships.