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20-Apr-2015 11:39

What you can do is honor your long-standing friendship by being honest with her about what is happening, and own the fact you know you have hurt her.

Let her know you are sorry she is hurting, and allow her to react however she chooses to. I think you show wisdom in recognizing how you would feel were the situation reversed. Your friend may have a hard time being around you or seeing the two of you together. Mutual friends may weigh in on both sides of the issue.

You can spend time and mental energy finding all kinds of justifications for your choices, but that’s not going to be helpful, ultimately.

You believe this relationship could be serious and real, so why not stop hiding? You can’t expect your friend to be happy for you, not right away, at least, and perhaps not ever.

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But I never told my bestie that we were spending time together, let alone that we were growing close. My best friend and I have been besties since the fourth grade. She was with this guy for four years, up until early May of this year, when he suddenly decided to break up with her. I started hanging out with him about two weeks later, at first thinking I was just being someone to talk to.