And I told myself, "Hey, it's no big deal; she was looking for something she'll never be able to find in me."In your situation, Maura, the dinner host's mind was not on the present.
I go to parties here in Los Angeles and they run away screaming! ME: I'm not taking pleasure in your misfortune, but I must say, it's good to be reminded that even men go through interactions like that. There was no point in continuing the interaction if she didn't want to be a part of it.You can't force someone like that to change his focus. " And then you might begin to obsess about how you are so unique in your suffering—ME: Like how I must be the only woman in all of New York City who is in her thirties and has never been in love before, for instance? HOW TO REMIND YOURSELF YOU'RE NOT ALONE IN THIS CRAZY DATING WORLD!HOW TO DEAL IF YOUR SELF-ESTEEM HAS TAKEN AN UNPAID VACATION ... But what happens when I get home and feel like crap about how badly I was treated? BRAD: Well, maybe you get home and say to yourself: "I'm so mad! ME: I guess you just proved that, by telling me you had an almost identical experience.Familiar as that might sound, it was good to hear what Whitney was explaining—so good that I decided to find out if there was some Buddhism guru out there who might have some tips about how to "stay Zen" while dating. And I can't get anyone to write me back on the stupid dating sites. Any thoughts on how I can deal with something like that if it happens again? It was a typical Hollywood gathering—meaning most of the people there were looking to meet someone who would further their careers!
A friend said I should check out Brad Warner, author of HARDCORE ZEN. And after I contacted him to ask if he had any insight into how to apply Buddhist ideas to dating, he wrote back to say: I'm dating myself right now—and, oh, it's miserable! Or how to brush it off if I'm at a party and some dude clearly isn't interested in me, despite the fact I think he's cute? I was introduced to one woman who clearly lost interest in me as soon as she heard I'd written some books about Zen.And keep looking for a good person to come along: someone you can connect with. Don't let disappointments distract you from the fact that there are tons of other oppotunities and possibilities out there. There are so many interactions we have in life that aren't useful, and we just have to let them go and move on.(And now, what I'm moving on from is this blog post.