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01-May-2015 15:54

"Something about being on a dating profile and being able to browse through the singles and interested ads feels sickeningly appealing to me in my pained and weakened state." Obviously there's nothing the least bit wrong with having a virtual outlet for feelings of betrayal, even if it's ultimately a panacea for much deeper issues.

Fortunately, neither Boris nor Natasha has used Tinder as a vehicle for marital vengeance.

Of all the apps on my phone, Tinder is the most consistently diverting. You can start scrolling through the locals as soon as your plane touches down.

When you remove the romantic stakes and strip away any personal investment, the app is an anthropological smorgasbord. And, like reality TV, it's so much more fun, weird, and tantalizing together. Before you're done taxiing, you'll have a cursory knowledge of who lives in the city you're visiting. "My husband and I, and one of our daughters, have Tinder accounts," says Aenea, an Ontarian in her 50s.

Inevitably, there is already a name for pleasuring yourself while Tindering -- an act which would seem to rival the old "pat your head and rub your belly" test of manual dexterity.

The cuckolding fetish community, one imagines, could also find great utility from Tinder.

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"A round of Tinder swipes, if done together, can enhance a couple's connection and create a shared experience of guaranteed laughter and some easy, fast-food-dating validation," says Amanda Luterman, a Montreal-based sex and relationship counselor. Those are the names my wife and I created for our fake accounts when we grew tired of relying on our single friends leaving their cellphones on the table when they went to the bathroom for our fun. If there's a better way to get a feel for the local populace, I haven't found it. As the Bernie Sanders campaign will tell you, it's important to maintain a healthy connection with the young. "They're for fun, and figuring out how online hookups work now.

Natasha is a stately, vaguely Nordic-looking woman, who appears early in the Google Image results when you search "blonde professional model." But not too early. We know that we're doing it for fun, and hopefully the friends that we see on it are also doing it for a joke." Boris and Natasha know how online hookups work now, even though they've never consummated any themselves. My wife and I tend to get competitive on most fronts, and Boris and Natasha have become another outlet to try and one-up each other.



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