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But for a guy, chemistry and confidence and coolness aren’t products you can buy to look more attractive to women.
When a guy is in a situation like that, he usually never stops liking you like that unless: 1) he finds another girl who he thinks is incredible (and focuses all his attention on her) 2) you fall from grace dramatically to the point where even he isn’t attracted anymore (and once he’s hooked, that takes a lot! A guy can recover pretty quickly from a gut-punch like that.
At the very least, it implies that she is not attracted to his approach, but she at least thinks he has the strength to handle rejection.
I met this guy about 3 years ago- he liked me then but I wasn’t so into him at the time.
He recently asked me out and I decided to give him a chance and we’ve been seeing each other for about 3 months now.
On top of that, you weren’t all that into him when he first liked you, which probably made you appear irresistible in his eyes… You’re this guy and you see this girl who you think is pretty, smart, fun, intelligent, etc. So now you’re in a situation where you like this girl and she isn’t feeling you. For a guy, that’s WORSE than a girl flat out rejecting you in a mean way.
It’s a funny thing about people – when you deny someone something, they almost become obsessed with trying to get you. You weren’t that into him at first and he liked you. You like her and you’d love to spend some time with her and see where things go. The reason it’s worse is because if a girl is cold or mean about the way she rejects the guy, at least he can say to himself, “Oh it’s just because she’s a cold/mean person.” Of course, guys use a more colorful vocabulary, but that’s the meaning behind it.
He said he loved me a couple of days into the relationship and would say it often, but sometime during the relationship he completely withdrew for no reason. Sometimes 3 to 4 days could go by and I’ll get no call from him.
When I tried to talk to him about it (over the phone) he said he was always busy with work, got upset and hung up.
Now he’s withdrawn again and I refuse to be treated the same way again so I haven’t called or texted. I don’t know if I’m handling things the wrong way or if he never really loved me in the first place. From what you’ve told me, it sounds like he was infatuated with you for a long time. but you just know that she feels no kind of attraction whatsoever.